Interview with The Mistress Noir of Arizona

Kinky or Vanilla?

I see BDSM as a means to distinguish between kinky people and vanilla.

Personally I identify as a Dominant Switch. Professionally, a Dominatrix. BDSM = Bondage... Discipline... Sadomasochism... I love when my submissives know their place. There are so many men these days who approach me with a sense of entitlement; they have a “do me” attitude that has reached a level of nausea. But there is a difference between a man who seeks me out as a lifestyle submissive and a man who seeks me out in a professional capacity. As a professional Dominatrix what makes me happy are men who understand I am providing them a service, one that is truly more about them than me. I don’t like the flippant and disrespectful attitudes that seem to be more the norm than not these days. Rude behavior, contacting me like I'm a vending machine for their needs, and being treated like I'm at their beck and call has truly become the downfall of my job. But I still have those who bring me much joy. I'm happy when I can make fantasies a reality in a tangible, real way. Flowers from a man make me happy. Thoughtfulness and respect for my time make me happy. Men who know how to be gentlemen … that makes me really happy. Gentlemanly behavior is becoming a rare treat sadly. My entire life I've radiated dominance. I've walked on the wild side, sought to understand lifestyles beyond the vanilla. The world of BDSM drew me in like a bee to a flower. Even before I began dominating professionally in 2006, I identified with the definition of a Fetishist...

”A person who has an excessive and irrational devotion or commitment to a particular thing.”

Domination of the ALPHA male, a fetish that can be misunderstood, or dominating a dominant, played out in fetish roles and kinky activities, requires a strong intellectual persona to engage and facilitate the ”power exchange". Creating fetish fantasies with those who desire a tangible experience one-on-one is my gift to those who find and pursue me and desire to fall down the fetish rabbit hole with me. I view myself as a fetish Fairy Godmother of sorts who can bring you into a world where fantasy can be played out as you wish... Consensual, discreet, non-judgmental, safe, experienced and knowledgeable, I specialize in kinky fetish activities from the tame to the extreme.

Outfits don’t matter to me .I can dominate men in lady-bug slippers or a corset and thigh high boots.

I'm a Dominatrix who still practices real time in-person fetish play. There are a variety of ways you can explore your kinky whims, if face-to-face isn't feasible. But my magic shines in the personal direct experiences I offer. As the technology advances ‘in person’ opportunities seem to be going away to make connections offline. Maybe it's my age, but I still believe in and prefer the more traditional aspects of being a fantasy facilitator and lifestyle dominant. I want to feel my hand smack my submissives' bare bottom, and trying to get that same emotion or feeling through a computer screen is hard for me. But as all things in life, we must grow, accept change and adapt. What some have found different about me is I am funny. My humor isn’t lost even as a Dominant.

A Clear definition

My definition of a great session is one that allows both the Domme and the submissive to get what they need/want from the experience. More often than not men come to me to get what they cannot get anywhere else. What I provide is a safe place for someone to explore their kinks or fantasies. I allow them to fulfill the dark and forbidden thoughts they keep hidden, and when that happens it’s a good session.

Going forward, I have several ideas that are currently germinating. I'm going to create a workshop that is ongoing in my local community where women can learn how to dominate in their bedrooms and still maintain a healthy relationship outside the bedroom. I don’t have a lot of details to share about this yet, but I'm currently looking for a venue I can host this event on a monthly basis. Covid19 is putting a kink in these plans, no pun intended, but hopefully we can gather in a face to face setting soon. I'm also going to attempt to learn more on offering up technology driven opportunities that don’t require a face-to-face setting to experience fantasy fulfillment. I see this in the form of customized video content, maybe tease and denial games… I think I need a technology-savvy slave to see some of my ideas come to fruition. Lol… After what has transpired in 2020, the world is definitely going in a different direction beyond what I could have predicted.

No-no’s for me are treating me as if I am a hooker with a whip, disrespecting my time, booking a session and then not showing up for it. Do not try to brat me into giving you my time for free. Don’t hit me up and not know what a Dominatrix is… seriously! Don’t ask for sex and every illegal activity. Do not ask me for discounts on my fee. If you cannot afford my time, save up. Do you ask your housekeeper or mechanic or barber to give you their services for a deep discount or pro bono? Don’t come and see me with poor hygiene. Don’t be tardy if you have booked a session with me. Most of all don’t expect me to give you free masturbation fodder when you contact me. Also, DO NOT TEXT ME. I cannot text endlessly, and most of the conversations done over text take an hour or more. If we had just spoken over the phone it could have been a 10 minute conversation versus an hour or more back and forth via text. There is one of me, and a lot of “you."

I'm big into spanking, so that's my ‘go to’ punishment. Sometimes though, naughty slaves respond to different kinds of discipline so I think punishment needs to be tailored to the sub and his misdeed.

At our first session, I take care of the formalities, tribute, my sub needs to present themselves naked, usually on their knees. We discuss health, safewords, and spend some time connecting as humans. If sub has brought wine, we'll share a glass before going upstairs to my boudoir/playspace. All sessions are customized to what the submissive has told me they wish to explore. The rest is up to our dynamic we have in person. I feel energy so sometimes it isn't until the sub is kneeling before me that my dominance kicks in. My goal is to make their fantasies come to life. That's why I'm called The Fetish Fairy Godmother.

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