A Professional Mistress is not necessarily determined by the stereotypical ideas of a dominatrix which are betrayed in the mainstream media.
What does it really take to be a better professional mistress?
A website is an invaluable marketing tool for a dominatrix – it shows seriousness of intent to a prospective client, implying solidity and a level of skill – the confidence of competence. And of course, it acts as a visual shop window to convey something of what you might have to offer.
Creating a website can be quite daunting of course it comes at a cost. You can create a website for yourself for the price of a domain name and domain space. This can cost as little as £40 a year.
However, it stands to reason that many people may need to have a website professionally built. In addition to the £40 a year it can cost from as little as £300-£1000 to create your website.
If you are genuinely interested in getting a good website built there are plenty of professional companies out there who can create your Mistress website. Do make sure that you go with a company or individual who has experience in creating adult websites.
Companies such as web video London
Would be a great place to start. Charging as little as £400 for a great website and this also includes the search engine optimisation – sometimes referred to as just SEO – which you will need to start you off on the right road.
Don’t spell out on your website all the things that you don’t do – it can come across as very negative. Just keep the ‘red lines’ to a minimum. List on your website as accurately as possible the things which you are happy to do. If you have certain things which you will not entertain by all means mention these. However, keep in mind that the potential slaves who read your website want to see what you do and not what you don’t.
A Twitter account is a ‘nice-to-have’ as a means of communicating with the faithful – but it’s not as appealing for someone who hasn’t seen you before. A lot of work is involved when creating and maintaining a successful Twitter account. You may want to do this yourself on a daily basis by adding relevant content and images. Maintaining a Twitter account will ensure that your web presence will be new and relevant and more importantly those wonderful pictures of you in a fetish outfit and little text snippets of what you’re up to will keep you in the mind of any potential slaves.
FetLife – this is also a great resource. Like any social media account, your profile has to be well maintained and accurate. Fetlife is a great way to engage with the fetish community in the United Kingdom.
You’ve got to ask yourself where the majority of the traffic goes to when a prospective client searches online for a Mistress.
Slaves will undoubtably search on Mistress Directories as there is a myriad of Mistress directories in the UK and the USA. Equally, if you are currently an escort looking to offer domination but in a softer style then you can list on escort directories and escort agencies. Many of these directories are free to list on and you can almost be guaranteed that your profile will get a lot of interest.
It’s important to think about the photos you put up on your website – how old are they? You may have looked very different 15 years ago – but now?
A client who enjoys the visual impact of a Mistress well-dressed in fetish gear may be enticed by those photos – but when he arrives for his session, will he be disappointed?
There’s nothing more demoralising for a client who’s seen the pictures of you in your pomp on your site – but then he arrives at your dungeon, loaded with excitement, only to be told “I can’t get into that any more”. So make sure the photos and the attire are current.
Age & looks
People labour under the misapprehension that in this field of endeavour it’s important to be young and pretty. Nothing could be further from the truth. Of course everyone wants their ego flattered by the attention that comes with being sexually desirable, but this as always, is superficial.
With age comes gravitas and self-assuredness, and the ability to effortlessly project a certain level of understated but hard-edged authority.
It’s important to treat a client with respect – even if he is destined to become helpless putty in your hands. Similarly you should make clear how you expect to be treated. Leave him in no doubt as to what is unacceptable.
Pay attention to your work location. Will you be moving around – or will you be anchored around one particular premises ? You need to think about how clients can access the location via private or public transport – pay special consideration to the amount of footfall. Will clients spook the neighbours – or vice versa ?
Metro locations have an advantage in good connectivity, and therefore a wide catchment area – they also carry a certain urban anonymity, but rural and suburban can work as well – you may find them more private.
Be sure to convey to prospective clients what your skills are and where your strengths lie. Are you useful with a riding crop ? Or are you an adept with rope, able to tie anyone up in knots ?
Do you enjoy role-play ? What in particular? Headmistress, prison governess, bitch boss? You may wish to invent some.
There’s no doubt that an experienced professional will have equipment in her dungeon that may be worth thousands of pounds in total.
Don’t think of this as a high barrier to entry into this career. That equipment has probably been accumulated over a period of years – much of it gifted by clients.
It follows that successful sessions will result in repeat business from the same clients, which will result in an enhanced array of equipment – so it becomes a virtuous circle.
But it’s not just about the equipment you invest in – it’s what’s in your mind. Have you controlled people before ? Were you, or perhaps still are, in a management role ? if so, that’s a good start. You’re used to giving instructions.
Managing clients in the dungeon is very similar to managing people in the home or the workplace – except easier.
Once he’s in your presence, it’s important to assess him – as he will be doing to you. Remember – you never get a second chance to make a first impression.
What category does he fall into ?
Is he a painslut ? Or a pleaser? Or a fetishist ? Maybe he’s into cross dressing. Or even all of the above, plus some not yet mentioned – because there can be multiple ways that a client will want to express his need to submit to you.
Unless he’s an experienced player, he may be tongue-tied at the initial interview. You will have to tease out his desires during a friendly conversation. That’s why good communication is essential.
Sometimes you can develop an instant chemistry with someone at your initial meeting. Kneeling on the floor at your feet he will gaze up into your eyes and immediately surrender.
But if he’s shy then don’t be afraid to suggest ideas and if he’s a pleaser, tell him the things you like – it will inspire him.
It’s crucial you understand what motivates your slave – work out which buttons to press – then press them relentlessly – but in such a way as doesn’t notice – or if he notices, he goes along with it. The skill is in making him learn to enjoy it.
The object is to transform him from a client into a slave who is loyal, devoted, obedient.
It’s a bit like dog-training really. And obviously you will get better at it with experience.
Encourage honesty in a client – and be honest yourself. There’s no point in pretending that everything is fine when you find some aspect of the session unacceptable. Expect the same back.
Ensure that there is wind-down time after the session. This is most important. You will learn what worked and what didn’t. And you will also get an idea of which direction you can push the client.