The late Sir James Goldsmith is reputed to have said: “When a man marries his mistress it creates a job opportunity.”
And when a slave’s Mistress retires, that too creates a job opportunity.
And so it was that your humble and obedient servant set out on a quest to find a new professional dominatrix as his current one had decided to hang up her whip.

Where to begin?

How about the obvious place – the pages of Mistress Elite? Because I was contacted by the Mistress Elite team who have embarked on a project to extract data relating only to those Dommes currently practising as professionals.

I cannot tell you the number of websites which are carrying details of Dommes who have retired. It really is demoralising to keep finding people in your locale who just aren’t around anymore.

The Mistress Elite data is bang up-to-date and on the money

Heels and leather

My Domme must be able to wear heeled boots 4 or 5 inches – platforms don’t really appeal – PVC will do but leather is best – hugs the leg better.

And she must offer completion by hand at the finale.

Fetish clothing can take many forms – leather, rubber and PVC all have their place – but tight-fitting black riding trousers and a tight-fitting black top – or even a white riding shirt with a stock collar will do the trick – provided she’s wearing boots.

These attributes are what my now retired Domme used to snare me. I became her dungeon slave, her painslut, her bootboy and last and by no means least, her findom piggy.

Carrying too much timber?

But here’s the thing – when I’m looking at a Domme’s website, what scores visually? does she have to be pornstar pretty, slim legs and toned body? No – she does not. The point about being a fetishist is that if a Domme has none of these characteristics, she can tick all thee boxes for a sub by dressing appropriately – or inappropriately – mwahah.

Carrying too much timber? (which of us isn’t?) pendulous tits? Doesn’t matter. Make a virtue of it by squeezing into a right-sized leather basque or corset – maybe with chrome studs or small spikes protruding.

Always been self-conscious about your chunky calves or cankles ? No problem – wrap a lace-up leather (real or pu) boot around them. A fetishist like me wants to see a Domme not a supermodel.

You think you look too old ? Trust me – you don’t. With age comes authority, power, control.

Make the best of the things you can control. Personally, I like a Domme’s hair to be old-school – pulled off the face into a tight bun. Other clients prefer a fetish look outfit teamed up with long, feminine hair cascading down.

And then there’s eye makeup – Pour. It. On. Dress to kill.

Engaging process

I have been engaged in this process for some time now. One lady I visited looked good in her pictures – fine, but it turned out she was too much into inflicting pain – I couldn’t handle it.

I made another attempt with someone else. This time the problem was that her dungeon lacked mirrors – so no visual connection for me to view her in her fetish finest. So that didn’t work.

Kinky visualisation

It was time to take stock of what I can do to make these sessions work:
The most important thing for me is to make sure even before visiting that the Domme understands how important the visualisation of the session is. Some sort of mirror arrangement is essential; it’s as if I want to see myself in my own porn movie

If you need relief as part of the session, ensure that this will be offered.

Also if the Domme requires a painslut, you should establish this early on. Some require this for their own pleasure, or for stress relief.
If the appropriate boundaries and parameters can be agreed – carry on.

Clever dominatrix!

Of course a Domme sometimes wants these things and you don’t feel like complying – but a clever Domme – once she has taken control of your mind – will ensure that you do want to comply.

The best have a way of working out what buttons to press on you – and once pressed you will become loyal, devoted and obedient, no matter what your preconceived ideas were. But you should be prepared for that process to take 2 or 3 sessions, provided an initial connection can be established.

My quest continues – using the Mistress Elite directory to find a Domme to take control of my body, my soul, my mind and my wallet.

In addition to slave Bobby’s New Mistress blog which, you can find on our blog at Mistress Elite. You can also find some  beautiful, professional Elite Mistress on our American dominatrix website Mistress Elite USA

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