Yes – you read it right – getting down and dirty with a hobo – or tramp as we say in the UK.

Who could fail to be turned on by the dirt, the erotic whiff of alcohol on the breath, that unique blend of pheromones emitted by a body unwashed for several weeks.

Check this out.

Many have speculated that some women do get turned by this.

See this website.

And for men who like men there’s this.

Let’s examine this – or try to imagine it, anyway.

Surely sexual arousal to a human being who presents him/herself in a peculiarly sub-optimal way has to be a form of masochism ?

The idea that you are attracted to what many people would regard as an inferior human reflects back on you so that you in turn feel degraded – and this leads to arousal.

So get into the mood. In the words of the song – gonna wait for the midnight hour.

Then imagine yourself walking along the stained pavements.

You encounter a whole row of beauties sprawled out horizontally , resting on their less-than-clean blankets, covered in cardboard packaging – their plastic cups ready to receive coins, next to them possibly a quiescent, supine dog.

Inhale the aroma, the excitement of the street.


You get down on your knees. Yeah baby ! This is it. You lie down next to him – or is it her. Whoever it is – they may shuffle up – let you squeeze in close, on to a bit of the blanket. Breathe deep. Look into the eyes as they peer out from the grimy face.

The eyes that have seen everything. Then get it on. You can do it. Just let it happen. Yes you can. That second-hand alcohol smell – strong enough to strip the oil off a piston. What a turn-on!

Congratulations – you’ve found true love – you’ve become a hobophile.

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